Intimate partner violence in teens: What is it, and what can you do?
2/8/2024 by Marcie Billings, M.D.
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), intimate partner violence (IPV) in teens — teen dating violence — is an "adolescent health problem." It's common and is associated with poor health and social outcomes. IPV in teens involves physical, emotional and/or sexual abuse in a teen relationship. It affects millions of teens in the U.S. each year.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), nearly 1 in 11 female teens and 1 in 15 male teens reported experiencing physical dating violence in the last year, and about 1 in 9 female high school students and 1 in 36 male high school students reported experiencing sexual dating violence in the last year. Additionally, 26% of women and 15% of men report experiencing IPV for the first time before the age of 18. According to the CDC, sexual minority groups are disproportionately affected by all forms of violence, and some racial/ethnic minority groups are disproportionately affected by many types of violence.
Teen dating violence can occur in person or electronically. It can include physical injury, forced sexual contact, reproductive coercion (or pressuring the partner to become pregnant or manipulating birth control attempts), isolation, intimidation and controlling partner behaviors. These controlling behaviors include demanding constant access to a partner, frequent checking of the partner's text messages, social media sites and cell phone, and texting or posting sexual pictures of a partner online.
Healthy and unhealthy relationships: Recognizing both
According to the AAP, signs of a healthy relationship include:
- Being respectful of each other.
- Knowing that you make each other better people.
- Sharing common interests but also having outside activities and friends.
- Settling disagreements peacefully and with respect.
According to the AAP, signs of an unhealthy relationship include:
- Lack of respect for each other.
- Being held back from things you like or are good at.
- Controlling and/or possessive behaviors.
- Blaming.
- Jealousy.
- Trying to change the other person.
According to the AAP, signs that "cross the line" in a relationship and are reasons to end a relationship and get help include:
- Abuse (verbal, physical, sexual).
- Threats.
- Explosive anger.
The health impact
Teen dating violence has a major impact on adolescent health. It's associated with unintended teen pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, injuries, substance use, antisocial behaviors, poor mental health and thoughts of suicide. It also sets the stage for future relationship problems and the potential for being a victim or perpetrator of subsequent IPV.
What can parents do?
Parents have an important role to play in promoting healthy relationships from an early age, recognizing teen dating violence among children and their peers, and supporting teens as they navigate their early relationships.
- Talk to your teens about healthy relationships. See the AAP Healthy Children website Expect Respect: Healthy Relationships - HealthyChildren.org.
- Role model healthy relationships. Show your children what it means to be engaged in a healthy relationship. This includes demonstrating loving and peaceful conflict resolution with friends and partners.
- Recognize signs of an unhealthy relationship. If your teen shows signs that he or she may be in an abusive or violent relationship, talk to them about it and get help. Your healthcare clinicians are happy to help connect you and your teen with resources for developing more positive relationships and getting out of potentially dangerous relationships.
- Empower your teen to intervene. Encourage all teenagers to be "positive upstanders" when they see peers who are engaged in disrespectful, harmful or violent behaviors.
- Engage in community activities. Teenagers who are involved in community groups, sports and other activities are less likely to engage in violence.
- Promote healthy use of the internet, which includes balance (with non-internet activities), boundaries and communication with parents.
- Help your teen resist sexual pressure. The AAP's Helping Teens Resist Sexual Pressure outlines strategies for parents and teens on this important topic.
Tips for teens
These strategies can help teens avoid an abusive relationship:
- Respect your partners and yourselves.
- Have a life, friends and family outside of your relationship.
- Resolve disagreements with your significant other with love and respect.
- Recognize healthy and unhealthy relationships.
- Stand up when you see signs of abuse.
- Know your support in your family and community.
- If you or your friends are involved in an abusive or violent relationship, ask an adult for help. Your parents, healthcare clinicians and teachers are good places to start.
Other resources for parents and teens include:
- Fast Facts: Preventing Teen Dating Violence (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention).
- Signs of Teen Dating Violence (American Academy of Pediatrics).
Marcie Billings, M.D., is chair of Mayo Clinic's Division of Community Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine. Her special areas of practice are adolescent medicine and eating disorders.