Empower your young adult
8/8/2024 by Hannah Mulholland, L.I.C.S.W.; Chelsea Willson, APRN, C.N.P., D.N.P.
Are you getting ready to send your teen off to college or full-time work? Is it time to start thinking of your teen as a young adult? We all want our children to be as well prepared for the future as possible, but navigating these transitions can often be tricky with adolescents.
Here are some suggestions for helping your young adult on their journey to independence — and taking charge of their own health.
Be prepared
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that all young adults see their primary clinician before heading to college or moving away. This will help them successfully transition to taking over their own care. At this visit, your young adult will be able to:
- Discuss and receive recommended vaccines.
- Get help with planning for future evaluations of chronic health conditions, such as ADHD.
- Renew prescription medications they may need to take with them.
- Discuss safe sex practices and contraception.
- Talk about the increased accessibility and risks of alcohol and drug use.
- Address healthy relationships and ways to avoid or prevent situations that increase the risk of sexual assault.
- Review the importance of continuing daily healthy lifestyle habits including adequate sleep hygiene, healthy eating and exercise.
- Get help setting up online access to their patient portal. This will be important if they need to reach their regular clinician for questions and advice.
Be knowledgeable
If they haven't already, make sure your young adult is starting to take charge of their health and has researched their new home-away-from-home. Make sure they know:
- What health services are offered, and where to access these services (i.e., on-campus health services, virtual services, local clinic)?
- Where the nearest Emergency Department is located.
- Their health insurance coverage and information. Have them take a picture of their insurance card, store it on their phone, and keep a hard copy.
- The names, dosages and side effects of their medications. Also, identify the nearest pharmacy for any medication refills needed.
- All the facts about any medical conditions or health issues they may have. They should be able to provide this information to a clinician if they are seen in another medical facility.
- Where to get help with mood concerns, homesickness, sadness or other social situations. Help them locate the college health center or counseling services on campus or in their new community.
Be safe
Don't shy away from talking about drugs, alcohol, relationships and sex. New pressures will arise, and you want your child to have a plan for when they're on their own and can't use their parents as an excuse to get out of tricky situations. Approach the conversation with curiosity, identifying your child as the expert. Ask permission to give advice before giving it.
Expect lots of requests for friend time and minimal engagement in the family system. It's normal for your teen to want to spend all their time with friends. When they're on their own, almost all interactions will be with peers, and they need to practice skills for navigating these relationships. Don't take it personally when they don't want to hang out with their parents. However, set aside family time, such as meals, to stay connected.
If your young adult is away and can only come home periodically, make sure to check in, especially within the first month, to find out how they're doing academically and emotionally. It's normal for them to miss home or feel a little lost. However, if these feelings are getting in the way of academics or the ability to function, make sure they seek help.
Be successful
- Encourage problem-solving. Don't automatically jump in with a suggestion or solution when your child comes to you with a problem. Prompt them to think through their options and weigh the pros and cons. Let them know you will support whatever choice they make but understand that mistakes are the best teachers. As parents, please don't pay for those mistakes or bail them out of the consequences.
- Decrease your financial support. If you haven't already, have your teen take some financial responsibility for themselves. Start with gas, food and/or entertainment, then move on to other expenses. This will help them understand the cost of living when they are no longer at home.
- Help your child define success. What leads them to feel their life has value? Help your young adult weigh the importance of the different aspects of their life — income and money, relationships, career, health, family, spirituality and leisure. Avoid instilling fear and competition in them. Instead, please do your best to convey excitement and a sense of adventure for what lies ahead and your confidence in their ability to manage their lives successfully.
Hannah Mulholland, L.I.C.S.W., M.S.W.., is a clinical social worker serving children and adolescents in Integrated Behavioral Health at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota.
Chelsea Willson, APRN, C.N.P., D.N.P., is a nurse practitioner caring for children and adolescents in Community Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota.