Don't let stress dampen your holidays
12/11/2025 by Kyle Schofield, Ph.D.; Craig Sawchuk, Ph.D., L.P.; and Anne Roche, Ph.D., L.P.
The holiday season can be the most wonderful time of the year. It can also be one of the most challenging times for many people, for plenty of reasons. Many have expectations that they must "feel great and act great" when, in fact, they feel extremely low due to depression or increased stressors. Seasonal changes, anniversaries of loss or memories of difficult childhood holidays may sometimes bring on depression.
Holiday celebrations can also come at a cost — late nights, early mornings, competing demands and less time to finish things. While stress is a regular part of everyday life, it's common for it to build up over the holidays.
However, not all stress is bad. It can help you get motivated, stay focused and give you the energy you need to finish important tasks. If stress becomes overwhelming and gets in the way, try some stress management strategies. As the holidays ramp up, these tips can help you fill your tank and build buffers into your day-to-day living.
Tip 1: Stick to a healthy sleep routine
If there's only one health habit to focus on during the holiday season, it's getting a good night's sleep. Building good sleep practices such as maintaining a regular bedtime and wake-up time, making the room cool, dark, quiet, and keeping electronics out of the bedroom at night. While perfecting all these things can be challenging — especially with young children, visiting family or friends, irregular work hours or traveling — following these healthy sleep practices can have a significant impact.
If you wake up during the night and can’t fall back to sleep, get out of bed after 15–20 minutes and go into another room. Do something relaxing in low light, such as reading something interesting enough to hold your attention, doing breathing exercises or gentle stretching, folding laundry or sorting socks. Return to bed when your eyes get heavy and/or your head starts bobbing. This strategy will help your brain associate the bed and nighttime with sleep. To establish healthy sleep hygiene, avoid active, exciting tasks such as answering work emails or watching exciting TV. You can also access a free-to-use online program to help improve your sleep here.
Tip 2: Experiment with stress management skills and set reminders
Stress management skills are strategies we use to fill our energy tanks and help us through challenging times. The skills that work best can be different for everyone, but might include things like relaxed breathing, brisk walking or practicing a mindfulness exercise.
Sometimes, our days can get hectic, and we forget to practice stress management skills even when we have good intentions. While physical symptoms of stress can look different for everyone, common ones include muscle tension, shallower breathing than usual, and headaches. First, pick an easy, do-anywhere strategy that can help with physical symptoms of stress.. Then, use an external reminder, such as setting a regular notification on your phone or placing a bright-colored sticky note on your computer. These reminders can help you build pressure relief valves throughout your day to disperse the adverse effects of stress.
Tip 3: Engage with those who make you feel good, and limit time with those who don't
Part of the holiday season's fun — and challenge — is spending more time with others. Some people may make us feel great, while others may have the opposite effect. Surround yourself with those who "fill you up" and you enjoy spending time with, which will help you feel better overall. If some people you spend time with during the holidays drain your energy or are frustrating to be around, limiting the amount of time you spend with them can be helpful. You can do this using the "minimum sufficiency principle." Keep interactions polite but brief, then mingle with others who are not as draining.
You can also establish healthy boundaries in these relationships. For example, "I would love to get together for a holiday meal, but let’s avoid discussing [hot-button issue] at the dinner table and instead focus on spending quality time with each other."
If spending time with your family of origin (also known as the family you were raised with) is not possible or desirable. It can be helpful to create a family of choice. A family of choice can comprise anyone, regardless of direct biological lineage. Your family of choice accepts you for who you are.
Tip 4: Give yourself some grace
The past several years have brought unprecedented amounts of stress. The pandemic, geopolitical and economic events have impacted us all. Many of us are tired and could use a break.
When we have little control over what is causing our stress, reflecting on what we control can be helpful. Are any of the responsibilities on your plate negotiable? For example, every year over the holidays, you make a homemade pie that is very time and labor-intensive. If the thought of making the pie is stressing you out, consider that a store-bought pie can be a tasty alternative and would save you a lot of time. It's OK to give yourself a break.
Sometimes stress can make us too serious about things large and small. Spend less time watching the news or scrolling social media.. It's natural to compare our lives to others; even among "friends," we may feel like we come up short.
Happiness and laughter are good for the brain, good for the body and good for the soul. When things get too hectic, we may lose sight of the lighter side of life. Try to weave funny things back into your daily life — movies, TV shows, books, online videos and people who make you smile.
Kyle Schofield, Ph.D., is a clinical health psychology fellow in Primary Care in Rochester and Kasson's Division of Integrated Behavioral Health.
Craig Sawchuk, Ph.D., L.P., and Anne Roche, Ph.D., L.P., are clinical psychologists in Primary Care in Rochester and Kasson's Division of Integrated Behavioral Health. Dr. Sawchuk is also the co-chair of Integrated Behavioral Health and also co-chairs Clinical Practice within the Department of Psychiatry and Psychology at Mayo Clinic in Rochester.