Happiness: Beyond the fleeting feel-good moment
10/28/2024 by Kyle Schofield, Ph.D.; Anne Roche, Ph.D., L.P.; Craig Sawchuk, Ph.D., L.P.
Happiness. The quest for it is so ingrained in us that it’s even written into the Declaration of Independence: "…certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness." But how do we achieve it?
Happy in the moment
Many of us can recognize what it’s like to feel happy—we’re filled with a sense of joy or pleasure about someone we’re with or what we’re doing. But we also know that happiness doesn’t last forever, no matter how much time we spend chasing it.
Seeking what gives us meaning
Though the feeling of happiness may not last forever, what does last is what we choose to do to give us a more complete, rich, and meaningful life. No one else can tell you what gives your life meaning—it’s unique and specific to you. And finding that meaning starts by building from the inside out, by asking yourself, "What are my values? What matters the most to me? What gives me a sense of purpose?"
Take some quiet time to reflect on your values and the things you care about most. Perhaps jot them down on a sheet of paper or in a Notes app on your phone. These values can then serve as a compass that guides you, helping you move in the most meaningful directions.
Once you've identified your values, you can check in with yourself and ask, "How consistently have I been engaging with my values recently? Are there areas where I would like to make some changes?" Life can be busy and challenging, and sometimes, we get distracted from our values. With our values in mind, however, we can start building goals and taking steps to live flexibly but consistently with the aspects of life that matter most. Once we’re aware of what we value, we can take action to build opportunities for happiness and meaning rather than wait for happiness to come by.
Building inner meaning is a gradual process. For instance, if you value family, start by spending 15 minutes uninterrupted time with your family. If the outdoors and nature fulfill you, go to the park and relish your surroundings for 10 minutes a week. These simple and gradually increasing steps build opportunities for meaning and happiness.
Take some time to consider some small steps you could take to connect with your values. Often people who are feeling unhappy can benefit from being consistent with matching what they value with their actions. Consider jotting down one or two small goals and when you plan to complete them. Remember, it can be helpful to start small with goals you’re confident you can achieve to help build momentum.
Every feeling, including happiness, is fleeting, but if you can build consistent values-based activities into your life, that’s what will bring a deep-seated, lasting sense of purpose.
Benefits of happiness and meaning
Research shows us that happy people are healthier, live longer and have lower rates of heart disease, stroke and infection. Being positive makes us more likely to engage in healthy behaviors, such as eating well and regular exercise, which circle back and contribute to happiness.
People who are deeply happy and have meaning in their lives tend to:
- Have a network of social relationships. They want to be out and about in their neighborhoods, workplaces and even casual settings, such as coffee shops. They’re more comfortable and confident when with a group.
- Be more productive, cooperative and creative at work. They are better able to collaborate and contribute to reaching a common goal and are more apt to find the middle ground.
- Be good friends, neighbors and citizens. People with a positive mood see others more sympathetically and are more inclusive; they find ways to get along despite differences.
- Do good to feel good. Doing good can be volunteering, reaching across party lines, respecting cultural diversity, and helping neighbors they don’t know. The more we do it, the better we feel and experience greater happiness.
Happiness in the moment is always going to slip away. But when you know what gives your life the most meaning, happiness comes along for the ride.
Kyle Schofield, Ph.D., is a clinical health psychology fellow in Primary Care in Rochester and Kasson's Division of Integrated Behavioral Health.
Anne Roche, Ph.D., L.P., and Craig Sawchuk, Ph.D., L.P., are clinical psychologists in Primary Care in Rochester and Kasson's Division of Integrated Behavioral Health.